Silent lover

A FICTIONAL STORY

Chapter 1.  Silent lover

Thousand thoughts. Skipped heart beats. Imaginations of a life with her and finally drained away guts to drain away the dream for infinite number of times.

We studied in the same college and fortunately enough in the same school three years pre matriculation. I don’t know when I did start liking her and when that liking turned into a love so strong for her that I saw her everywhere. I would just smile and pat my self- she is not yours dude!

All it takes is some trying with a lot of guts to speak your heart to the one you love and while I did have the love creeping into me every moment I thought of her or every time she crossed my path, I never dared to speak a word to let her know that I loved her.

It was a mixture of fear of not seeing her ever again and a mirage of her being mine for ever which of course was more an opaque vision than what a mirage can be, that kept me on back foot.

She is Sachi.

The heartbeat of those thousand thugs who flirt their way to chance a cup of coffee with her and some moments of chit chat!  I don’t know what keeps me at bay, but all that I know is that I won’t be able to talk to her even for a while looking into her beautiful eyes with long lashes and thin eye brows which look like the curved new moon tilted and painted black above her eyes.

I don’t know why a tsunami rises in my heart every time she talks to me the same way she talks to every other guy in the college. I don’t know why I try to steal a look and capture it in the camera of my eyes every time she is unaware of me observing her every step. I know nothing when she is around- not a thing matters me.

This is the feeling I had since last 8 years which I have never expressed and perhaps in the life time would never express it to her. Perhaps by the time I would tell her I love her, she would hand over to me an invitation to attend her marriage and all that I would be left with is some tears and a broken heart with memories to care for till I die.

“Whatever be the future, I don’t wanna spoil the moment for myself”

So this is how I love her silently. I don’t know and don’t ever want to know for how many years more I would love her silently, without letting her know that I loved her.